“If you are single today, the portion assigned to you for today is singleness. It is God’s gift. Singleness ought not to be viewed as a problem, nor marriage as a right, God in His wisdom and love grants either as a gift. An unmarried person has the gift of singleness, not to be confused with the gift of celibacy. When we speak of the “gift of celibacy,” we usually refer to one who is bound by vows not to marry. If you are not so bound, what may be your portion tomorrow is not your business today. Today’s business is trust in the living God who precisely measures out, day by day, each one’s portion.”
Nothing You Can Sing that Can’t Be Sung
Every year during the second week of February, moaning and groaning begins to dominate social media, as well as, everyday conversation. What is this moaning and groaning about you might ask? These cries of anguish are for none other than Valentine’s Day. It is always around this time of year, that the never ending lamenting of people who view Valentine’s Day as Single’s Awareness Day, becomes absolutely pervasive among young singles. Before I proceed, let me just say that in years past I too have been guilty of such sarcasm, having said that, this year my thinking, for whatever reason, seems to be drastically different. A few days ago I noticed a trend in statuses about “Singles Awareness Day” and to my surprise, I was actually annoyed by them. This was new. All of the years I spent reveling in the whole Singles Awareness ideology, my mind sticking it to those who are in relationships, and suddenly this year that enthusiasm, was gone, kaput. It was not until I came across a photo someone had taken of Valentine’s Day merchandise at a store captioned “Look at all this stuff I don’t have to buy!” that my mood escalated from being annoyed, to just plain anger. For many years I saw much humor in the bashing of Valentine’s Day, in the glorification of calling the holiday Singles Awareness Day, but this year my heart has changed. Today when I see the statuses regarding Singles Awareness Day, what I see is not humor, but a coping mechanism created by single people, in an attempt to deal with jealousy and discontentment spawned by the fact that they are single. I should know, that was the appeal of it to me. Statuses and photos calling Valentine’s Day, Singles Awareness Day are hardly witty or clever and are actually more along the lines of pathetic, even sad. If that is not you, so be it, the rule does not apply to everyone who posts theses statuses, but I would argue that while this is not true about the minority, for the majority it is. Not only that, but the Singles Awareness nonsense devalues and can be a downer for couples who want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Just because you are not a fan of the day, does not give you the right to bring it down for those who are. Sure, I get it, free speech, but as believers, for those who are believers, we may be free to say whatever we want, but that does not mean we should.
All You Need is Love
While Valentine’s Day may be an incredibly commercial holiday (find me a holiday that isn’t), that does not mean it has to be celebrated as such. On Valentine’s Day you really only have two good options.
1. You can just not celebrate it. If you cannot get over either the commercialism of Valentine’s Day or the fact that you are single during Valentine’s, you can simply choose not to celebrate. How easy is that? Instead of whining about your relationship status or trying to appear above it all, carry on like it is another day, and do not waste your time or energy on such things.
Or for a better option. . .
2. One does not need to be in a relationship to Celebrate Valentine’s Day. While there may be a strong emphasis on couples and relationships, take Valentine’s Day to appreciate the loved ones in your life, platonic or romantic. Not only that, as Christians, single, dating, or even married, we have the greatest love to celebrate, and that is the love of Jesus Christ. Take time to meditate on His love, the ability He has given us to love, and the experience of His love through others. Focus on the relationship you have with God, not the ones you do not have with people.
Love is All You Need
As believers in Christ our value does not come from a relationship status, it comes from our eternal status, our status in Him. This is a struggle for me, as I am twenty nine and still single, it because easy to long for a relationship, to lose sight of what I do have, as I long for what I do not. You do not need the incomplete love of another human being, to be complete in Him. Get over yourself and your discontentment. Does He show His love through other people? Yes! Do we need to be in a dating relationship to experience that love? Not at all! As I think about the people in my life, Christ has, and is, showing me His love through them in so many ways. I have seen the love of Christ manifested through the friends who have surrounded me more times than I could ever attempt to count.
I may be single this Valentine’s Day, but the love Christ has bestowed upon me, gives me all the reason I could ever need to celebrate. Are you celebrating the love He has brought into your life? Yes, it would be nice to be involved with someone romantically, but in terms of His love, romantic relationships are a means, and most certainly not the end. I am not trying to say romantic relationships are valueless, but what I am trying to say is that if you do not presently have one, your relationship status does not have to lessen the value of that which you do. This Valentine’s Day, regardless your relationship status, celebrate His love, the role it has in your life, how you have experienced it in those around you, and how you can express His love in return.