Ahh the chance to sit down and write a proper post. Long time no see. Lately there have been an abundance of changes in my life. In August the course of one week lead me to acceptance into Emmaus Bible College, the financial means to do so, and a clear open path straight out of Waukesha. A season I thought would never end ended. Bitter sweet hardly does justice to the thought processes that encompassed the start of this new journey. For two years the very fiber of my spiritual being was stretched like a rubber band trying to hold an elephant. Some days it sucked beyond what words can describe, however the sheer joy of complete dependence/fulfillment in Him, made it worth every heart ache, tear, and moments of brokenness. There were so many days I doubted He would bring me through it, copious amounts of times that I believed where I was was the end, and yet it was not. I never cease to be amused at God’s ability to prove us wrong.
And here I sit like it was all one long dream. . .
A short time ago I would have never believed I would be in Iowa as a Bible and Psychology student. While this part of the journey is different, there is no less need for reliance upon my position in Christ. Being here has humbled me in ways I have no been in a long time. You know how it is with new places, people, and situations. This is home now though. For five years now where I presently had my possessions was home, and now home is here. How long? Well I am enrolled in a four year program, but I have learned never try to predict what God will or will not do. His plans are His plans and I will take them over mine any day. If there is one thing I have learned, when it comes to God we have to take it in the here and now, the today’s and not tomorrow. Focusing on what tomorrow brings more often that not causes to miss what today brought. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, or for that matter the rest of today even.
Life. Life, the Universe and Everything. Okay maybe not that, but just life. Looking at my life, and things that has been shared by others, it is incredible the things we let into our lives that hold us back or bring us down. On top of that we play stupid and fail to allow ourselves to notice it. The topic of death has been one that seems to have made its way into my life several times the past month. If anything is certain about our lives it is the fact that everyone dies. Death is interesting for a number of reasons. When we die nothing goes with us. Books, clothes, money, possessions, not one earthly thing you can think of. How much time, money, effort, and emotion we waste on things that will never mind not matter when we die, but even in months to a year. My favorite are the DVD enthusiasts. No matter what you do DVDs will wear out or become obsolete, yet folks still collect them in mass quantities. That is the case with most nonsense we accumulate though. See what I mean for ourselves and chosen stupidity? Time invested, things bought, there is any number of things that meaning nothing and become nothing. Death is a completely spiritual thing. Once we die our soul is literally ripped out of our present body and taken into eternity. I find it hard to grasp sadness in death when it comes to being a believer. For the believer death is by no means a bad thing. We have let the world view of death infiltrate our perceptions of what it should be. For the unbeliever it is a sad thing because this life is all they have and with that once it is over it is over. For the believer it should be a joyous, wonderful, occasion. Mind you we are human and have ever right to mourn, but it should not be seen negatively.
What does death have to do with life, or anything I am talking about for that matter? EVERYTHING. See it? This life, as I often say, is NOT THE FREAKING CLIMAX. That is how I say it to myself in my head anyway. What we have in death, eternity, and Christ make the few scars we will get while alive nothing. I wonder how often we beat our own selves down by thinking that right here and now is it. For me that is what it was. Instead of trying to see how I could know God and make Him known now, I believed there was nothing more to it. Myself told me I was going in circles when God wanted me to know I was moving forward. The speed we are moving is not half as important as the fact that we are moving. That is all his life is about, knowing Him and making Him known. So are we going to waste in and spin our figurative wheels or are we going to do something? He cannot use us unless we allow Him. A believer resolved to walk with Him even if it kills them is unstoppable. Do not let yourself or anyone else stop you from living in every aspect of Him.