My head feels as if it is going to explode. So many thoughts and feelings blasting through like beams of light only comprehensible to myself and God. Plagued by recurring themes, I do my best in attempting to decipher them. Recently “relevancy” and “bitterness” have been the duo which set the tone. As far as I can see the two presently do not relate to one another. For that matter I cannot securely say I have heard of anyone’s life experience where they did.
Why am I bitter? That is complicated. How complicated? Very complicated. Actually it really is not at all. I know why I am bitter yet all attempts to not be so have failed. When everyone around you is moving on and yet you remain in the same place, putting it all into perspective becomes difficult. Is this where I am supposed to be? Am I doing something wrong? Is what God wants me to know known and dealt with being approached? So many questions abundant in acceptable answers and still here I am. Ah the effects of comparing yourself to others, such a wonderful accompaniment to possessing partial flesh. (Obvious sarcasm) Knowing life is difficult, all too well, you would think things would take more to get to you, unfortunately that is not the case. God does things because He loves us, and sometimes the fallen world can get in the way of that. A truth that is universally and undeniably real. What matters are the things I do understand. It might be hard, and may seem fruitless, but in the end I guess we are are most critical judges. Will I come through this? Probably. My comfort comes in the fact that momentary suffering is worth a lifetime of understanding. If you want to understand what it is like to live in a third world conditions you live in a third word country. If you want to understand the principles of God’s Word, you go and live God’s Word. Despite being hard, regardless of having bitterness, all of this in the present and even in whats to come, is all validation of who I am and what I have become because of Christ. Whether my feelings like that or not, I know what a know, and truth is truth no matter how we feel about it. I will continue to press forward even if it means not eating for days at a time, in a constant struggle to find a job, and no idea what to do next, I know I am faithful to the causes, and without a doubt He is with and guiding me. God brings a man down so He can build them up
Relevancy. What are you on about Chris Cantrell? I have actually been thinking a lot about this word. Especially with the whole Emergent movement, it is become a term that seems to be thrown out there a lot. Coming back to the idea of the timelessness and eternalness of God’s Word, it is hard to see how you could not be any more relevant. When people talk about being relevant I think it is a different idea than what it actually should be. From what I have gathered people want relevancy in the form of media (music, trends, themes, styles ideologies, etc) more than they do the content of God’s Word. Shamefully though that has spawned a version of God that is based in emotions, passive aggression, and tolerance. Obviously all those things have proper contexts but when they are made the core of what drives anything, that is when you will see problems begin to arise. The whole Emergent thing is merely and amplified version of that. Between evangelical churches that function as coffee shops, to churches dead set on doing things so dogmatically abstract, it is more bound to groups of people than it is specific denominations. The boundaries between God and the culture are becoming more and more distorted when all we have to do is change what we are relevant to. If you want to be relevant to the world be relevant to the world, but if you want to be to Christ be so to Him. Christ is in the lives of every believer, making the reality of who He is every bit as relevant as being able to relate through meaningless things.
So yeah, that is where I am presently at more or less. To the outside spectator it is likely to seem more like the ramblings of madman than it does any coherent sense. Having been given things to think about in my own life I hope this has done the same for you. If not that is cool too.