(Doctor Who? reference in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Doctor Who? reference now..)The 6th Doctor’s (see below photo) last year was my first year and that was 1986. He was fired because audiences did not like the actor and felt as if he portrayed him too arrogantly. He was not even given a regeneration scene. It was kind of sad really….Pretty much an example of a total geek out.
My view on birthdays was I think was incredibly altered today. For the past seven years I have seen birthdays as a testimony unto our significance or lack thereof. I believed that how you spent you birthday and even holiday signified our importance as humans in society. With that in mind , and circumstances often surrounding, typically my demeanor has been a bitter one during those dates of the year.
What happened this year? Today I did a lot of thinking. As they day began I maintained my usual birthday funk. By waking up and focusing on the negativity in my life I failed to recognize the things the Lord had allowed me to experience through another year of life.
Having said that…..
God has been good to me. A lot has happened in a year as I am sure a lot more will over the course of another. He has blessed my life with some remarkable people whom I love dearly, and has shown me Him through things and people I never considered possible. Seeing life from this eternal perspective made me realize something, birthdays, for all they are worth, mean nothing. In terms of everything the date of birth signifies our coming into the world and nothing more. Furthermore that emerging into the world was not even as a believer but as someone sinful. Yes I am sure birthdays can be great things, but to allow them to make or break how you view yourself or walk with the Lord is ludicrous.
As I was saying the Lord has blessed me tremendously this previous year. In this time He has done everything from giving me mental stability and freedom from being Bi-Polar, to teach me what it means to fully and truly know Him. He has used me to impact others, and others to impact me. Blessings have been manifested though friendships, and further developing of my mind and writing. All and all the things that the Lord has done have been too great to become wrapped up in the insignificance of a date on the calendar. As with every day this is not forever, sure there will be bad days, but at the same time that does not mean the good days will be lesser or made unimportant. Out of anything and everything all that matters is that I know and fellowship with Him. Responsibility lies on Him for everything else, so might as well not put ourselves through the stress of worrying, and to just expect the usual and enjoy the rest.
Back to reality though there have been moments today that have been hard. On top of the usual struggles that life has presented recently today did not help any of that. However, the more I thought, wrote, and pondered, the more I realized none of those negative things have to define me nor dictate the course of my day or attitude. Dwelling for too long on things that have no need to be dwelt on often leave us believing lies, almost as if we choose to feel like crap. Self pity is a sad, prideful, disposition, and one I decided I did not want to continue my day in.
Thank you all. A lot of you have impacted me tremendously through our friendship, conversations, and time together. Materially I may be poor but spiritually and deeply I am blessed beyond all words and comprehension. Even today the Lord blessed me in ways typically may have seemed minor but today seemed significant. Every single one of you I love, even those I have not been so loving to at times, I still love you. God has provided abundantly allowing me to experience love in ways I never felt possible. It is so hard to believe just a few years ago I was convinced I did not need people or fellowship with them. Some of you I give a hard time, and sometimes I get a little over zealous but that does not change the fact that because of Him and Him alone I can love and be loved in exchange.
As I have said before our definitions are not composed by worldly things, but by Christ alone, and in that we have everything we could ever need we just have to choose to accept that….