A fair way to describe the past couple of days would be “not so hot”. Typically those sort of days are incredibly sobering in the fact that, despite knowing and seeing so many wonderful truths in our lives , we are still susceptible to discouragement and untrue feelings. Just because we are not defined by something does not mean that it cannot have its effect upon us.
Ever since I have been a Christian it has been one thing after another, and sometimes what differentiates the hard from the bad can be unrecognizable. My struggles over the previous forty eight hours in that perspective is a difficult thing to come by at the moment. Does that mean I have not been in fellowship with God or any less of a person? Not entirely, however, when humored for two long the damage can be somewhat lasting. Living consistently what I know can allow us to know God whether in our struggles or our strengths, knowing God has no boundaries.
Knowing God has been a privilege and trend in my life the past year and a half. Most people often do not realize the importance of know God and typically assume in consists of merely head knowledge. That is ignorant and false. A large percentage of knowing God comes when we recognize the things He is showing us in our lives and are able to reckon them to Scripture and His character. When it comes to knowing something it is fifty percent head knowledge and fifty percent experience. Without knowing you cannot understand experience and without experience knowledge remains merely theoretical.
Presently I am living week to week. Between the job situation(an on going struggle to find one in this economy) and having no money, my dependence on the Lord has had the stretch beyond things of daily circumstance to actual life. Whether I run out of food, or money, or whatever it is, I have to fully trust that the Lord is going to meet my needs and provide. Not only that I have been learning to live without being Bi -Polar and the new challenges of ways of thinking without emotion involved. All and all right now is hard. I have no direction, three days worth of food, and no idea what is next and yet, although discouraged, that does not stop me. Having said that your prayers are needed and appreciated.
Do things suck? Tremendously. Does that change who I am ? Not at all. The reality of it all is that whether or not I am in college, ministry, a career, a marriage, a relationship, this and that, and everything else in between , God could care less. Am I having hard time yes! God may not care about where I am at or what I am doing as long as I know Him but He does care about me and whether or not I am making it. Without Him working through others I would have been dead ages ago, but because I have pursued to know Him, not only have I seen Him in that life experience but from that fellowship with other believers.
I always always always go back to Lamentations 3 in times like this. Jeremiah knew things sucked, and he hurt, and he felt as if he could not go on. The thing we have to remember though is that as soon as he finished describing what he felt, immediately he went on to doubly describe what he knew. Jeremiah delivers not only an ultimate example of knowing God despite circumstances, but also holding to what we know as truth even if it is the opposite of what we feel.
As I continue to know God I also trust that He will provided. Not because of what I feel but because of what I know. Whether I am happy, sad,hungry, angry,struggling, hurt, at peace, tired, or whatever else I may be, because of my position in Christ the universe has to and does move forward. The pinnacle does not come in this life, and all of this is not of a fraction of what one day will be. Showing my geekiness I always am reminded of Lord of the Rings. My favorite characters were the Hobbits. Whether Bilbo in the Hobbit, or Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin in Lord of the Rings, these comfortable creatures with easy lives get swept away onto unimaginable adventures. As they are taken out of their comfort zone they see how small they are and how intimidatingly scary the real world is. Over the course of the story their paths go separate ways all dealing with hardships and what seems like impossible ordeals. When it is all said and done you begin to realize as they return to the Shire how different they have actually become. Because of leaving the life they were comfortable with the were able to grow and change. Significantly enough just as the book began with them so did it also end.
My point is not to geek out but to make an example. Following God, fully following and knowing God, is hard and means leaving your comfort zones. Not only that at times is means being beyond uncomfortable. Our lives are not determined and composed of what is here and now but what will one day be. We are just see a tiny glimpse of the overall puzzle and how it connects to the overall scheme of things. As we know God, as we walk with Him, we will at times forget that and lose perspective, however, all that matters is what we know and reckon and how we allow it to impact out lives…